Mr. Pizza’s Love For Women is Crushed by Heartbreak

Posted: February 11, 2009 in Culture
Tags: , , , , , ,

hate-for-women-2

The founder of Mr. Pizza, Kim Duck-Young, has changed the company’s slogan from “Love for Women” to “Hate for Women” after finding out that his wife of twenty years has been having an affair with a stout, hairy beast of a woman. The change has angered women all over Korea and has lead to a mounting number of protests in the City Hall area. However, a growing number of men who have been burned by this latest of Western plagues – Lesbianism — have embraced the new slogan.

Along with the change in slogan, the famous pizza chain has also made several notable changes to the menu. A number of new pizzas have been added such as the “Burn in Hell” pizza, a tasty pie covered in spicy red sauce and topped with habanera peppers. For the experientialist out there, why not try the “Die Bitch” pie, this is topped with pretty pink hearts and tetrodotoxin from the “super yum-yum tasty part” of the blowfish. Or why not try the “Your Ass is Fat” pizza, an extra oily pie topped with bacon, bacon grease, mayonnaise, and ranch dressing. The chain has also added a lunch special called “Two Timing Tramp,” offering two of the new pizzas for the price of one. The “I Hope you get Herpes” pie is reportedly still in the works but is due out by Valentine’s Day.

The pizza boxes have likewise been redesigned to fit with the new slogan. Instead of saying:

“Mr. Pizza knows how to please women

because he understands them and knows what they want.

Because he cares about women, Mr. Pizza strives

to make a more delicious pizza.

Now, fall in love with the taste of Mr. Pizza.”

the boxes will now say:

“Mr. Pizza didn’t know his wife was such a dirty whore.

He bought her nice things and did everything she asked.

All of a sudden the tramp decided she liked vagina.

Mr. Pizza is all alone, all alone, all alone.

Hope you enjoy your fat, butch new lover, you stupid bitch.”

Along with the change in menu and slogan, the chain now refuses to hire any women and women are encouraged never ever to not go into any Mr. Pizzas, unless they want roofied and a ride “on the train.”

Duck Young Kim has refused an interview with us, saying that he was too busy drinking whisky and watching his wedding videos.

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Comments
  1. roboseyo says:

    Hey there. I like your blog, and added you to my feed and sidebar. Funny stuff so far…keep it up!

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